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Richard Rampell's avatar

I am now 72 years old and have made 2 close friends within the last 5 years. I met both men while attending services at my synagogue. One is the cantor, a brilliant man who not only sings beautifully but has composed much of the liturgical music performed in Conservative Synagogues (including the music in Steven Spielberg’s “Shoah” documentary). He is a renaissance man whose interests extend far beyond Judaism (free will, AI, astrophysics to list a few). We have dinner together about once a month. The other man is a retired lawyer, who I was acquainted with professionally before I retired. He too is a sage observer of life, even though our political views diverge often. How lucky am I?

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Anna Goldfarb's avatar

Hey! I’m a journalist and author. I just wrote a book called MODERN FRIENDSHIP, in which I explain the modern friendship paradox: that it's never been easier to connect with our friends, but in practice, we rarely do.

I wrote about it for the Washington Post <https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/06/04/friendship-friends-language-communication/>

These are some reasons why this is:

1. Loneliness: We live in a society that resembles a spoke (think: a bicycle wheel). We have many friends from different parts of our lives, but they only share a common history with us, not each other.

2. Effort: We have flexibility with who we can befriend, but the burden of keeping those friendships active rests on each individual. Most of us don't have help from an institution (a school, a church) to keep our friendships afloat.

3. Desire: Every friendship needs a clear and compelling ABOUT so both people remain invested. Friendship ABOUTS can change, become outdated or be absent.

My reporting has appeared in the NYT, The Atlantic, TIME, Washington Post, and more. Here’s more about me and my work here: https://annagoldfarb.com/

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