I'm finding it hard to enjoy small talk and feel out of place with it. Pretending to like these conversations isn't working for me anymore.
Because of this, I'm moving away from casual chats. I feel like I don't fit in with people who prefer light talk.
It's tough to find people who want deeper conversations. Most lose interest after a bit, sticking to simple topics like the weather, while I want to talk about more meaningful things.
I read the book and it helped me learn to interact more. I started becoming comfortable around people. It is all about connecting deeply with people. Thank u Charles Duhigg.
My eyes widened and my stomach sank when I read the speech bubbles in the image. I can't imagine asking questions like that until the connection is truly established, so I loved the explanation you offered under "Ask deep questions", as I can see how the bridge works. Even though I work as a coach and it's my job to ask deep questions, I really struggle to ask deep questions outside of my work for fear of seeming intrusive and overly intense. This is a skill I'd really like to develop and look forward to reading your book to see how I might apply these skills in everyday life rather than just at work.
Great topic! I also like the idea of "middle talk" as something that's between superficial small talk (which, to be fair, has its merits) and deep talk (which I personally love).
In the workplace, make sure you aren’t interrupting work. In a cubicle farm, it’s easy to make this mistake. Instead, wait until you encounter someone at the printer, in the break area or on the way to the parking garage to engage deeply.
This is great advice. Particularly as open floor plans became popular - we saw that social norms around chatting needed to change. And now that we're returning to the office - after years where I didn't talk to anyone all day! - we should remember that we're rusty, and be forgiving of ourselves and others.
Since the writer is a new employee, you may want to ask a question about the company culture or how the person feels about working there, why they like it, what to avoid, etc.
Thanks for this. As someone who does "big talk" for a living, I found the four tips useful. From my experience, the third might be the most important because it actually takes you beyond demonstrating that you've listened. It also suggests that you don't know all the answers--and that you know it, too.
Can't wait until Tuesday morning when Jeff Bezos will have whizzed your new book to my Kindle by the time I wake up.
Thank you, Chip! And I agree completely: What matters most of all is being present in the conversation. Even if we're listening, and asking questions - if we're not also sharing ourselves, we'll never really connect. Thanks for the kind words on the book! I hope you like it.
If it's even half as good as the Power of Habit, it will have a huge market in the world of peacebuilding/conflict resolution which sorely needs book by authors like you who can dig deeply into evidence/concepts but reach a general audience.
I'm finding it hard to enjoy small talk and feel out of place with it. Pretending to like these conversations isn't working for me anymore.
Because of this, I'm moving away from casual chats. I feel like I don't fit in with people who prefer light talk.
It's tough to find people who want deeper conversations. Most lose interest after a bit, sticking to simple topics like the weather, while I want to talk about more meaningful things.
I read the book and it helped me learn to interact more. I started becoming comfortable around people. It is all about connecting deeply with people. Thank u Charles Duhigg.
My eyes widened and my stomach sank when I read the speech bubbles in the image. I can't imagine asking questions like that until the connection is truly established, so I loved the explanation you offered under "Ask deep questions", as I can see how the bridge works. Even though I work as a coach and it's my job to ask deep questions, I really struggle to ask deep questions outside of my work for fear of seeming intrusive and overly intense. This is a skill I'd really like to develop and look forward to reading your book to see how I might apply these skills in everyday life rather than just at work.
Great topic! I also like the idea of "middle talk" as something that's between superficial small talk (which, to be fair, has its merits) and deep talk (which I personally love).
Love the content!!
In the workplace, make sure you aren’t interrupting work. In a cubicle farm, it’s easy to make this mistake. Instead, wait until you encounter someone at the printer, in the break area or on the way to the parking garage to engage deeply.
This is great advice. Particularly as open floor plans became popular - we saw that social norms around chatting needed to change. And now that we're returning to the office - after years where I didn't talk to anyone all day! - we should remember that we're rusty, and be forgiving of ourselves and others.
Since the writer is a new employee, you may want to ask a question about the company culture or how the person feels about working there, why they like it, what to avoid, etc.
An excellent point. Shared interests are often the most fertile ground.
Thanks for this. As someone who does "big talk" for a living, I found the four tips useful. From my experience, the third might be the most important because it actually takes you beyond demonstrating that you've listened. It also suggests that you don't know all the answers--and that you know it, too.
Can't wait until Tuesday morning when Jeff Bezos will have whizzed your new book to my Kindle by the time I wake up.
Thank you, Chip! And I agree completely: What matters most of all is being present in the conversation. Even if we're listening, and asking questions - if we're not also sharing ourselves, we'll never really connect. Thanks for the kind words on the book! I hope you like it.
If it's even half as good as the Power of Habit, it will have a huge market in the world of peacebuilding/conflict resolution which sorely needs book by authors like you who can dig deeply into evidence/concepts but reach a general audience.