11 Comments

This is great and very timely. My mom passed away recently. A day before hand, my father handed me a letter and said "do you remember this?". I didn't. It turns out that it was something I had written back when I was a senior in high school, 29 years ago. I had told them that I didn't know what to get them, so I wrote to them about everything I appreciated about them, my fears, and my hopes for the future. I thank my 17 year old self for doing that. It meant so much to them that they hung onto it for nearly 30 years, with my mom re-reading it as she lay dying. It was probably the single most important physical thing I ever gave them and it cost me $0.

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This is really beautiful, David. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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One of the best gifts I got as a child was a globe. Almost each night during the next year, my father and I spent half an hour quizzing each other about the capital of every country that existed then (in the 1990s), cultivating our curiosity about the world.

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That's wonderful! The best presents are whatever allows us to spend time together - and it sounds like this one definitely did.

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This is Brilliant! Thank you.

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Thanks, John!

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Great article on gift giving! I appreciate the humor and 100% agree with what you shared. I particularly liked the idea of "splurging" with time rather than money. That is an awesome twist on a familiar concept.

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Love it. When thinking from the opposite side, I’d definitely be delighted to receive any and each of these gifts. Thank you.

One other observation I had before is - my friends and family also love a snapshot that sparks a happy memory together. In this age of millions of photos, one that was dug up from the past, one that stirred memory of some wonderful time (even better if funny), coupled with a personal note reminiscing that memory, was favorite gift for friends before.

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That is a great idea! I should have mentioned it in the post!

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When I was deep in depression after my divorce, a girlfriend from college called to connect (after nearly a decade of not being in touch). She asked me what she could do to help, and I said "text me every day, even if its just a silly meme, just to remind me that I'm important." She did it. For well over a year. I'll never forget her commitment to me.

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I wish I'd read this in December. :) Great concepts on gift-giving, though. I have also have an unrelated question. In your book Smarter, Better, Faster you wrote "Moreover, experiments show that anyone can learn to habitually construct mental models."

I looked at the references listed near the end of your book and wasn't able to find studies specifically showing how people became better at habitually constructing mental models. Can you point me to a few? I'm very interested in the topic of developing mental models.

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